


I don't know your secrets (but I'll pick up the pieces)

by gingergenower



Series: doctor/mafia au [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe, Blood and Injury, First Kiss, First Meetings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mafia!Magnus, Medical Procedures, doctor!alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:53:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingergenower/pseuds/gingergenower
Summary: Put someone in pain front of Alec and he’ll help, no matter what.





	I don't know your secrets (but I'll pick up the pieces)

**Author's Note:**

> idea stolen from [this prompt](https://twitter.com/boltonsarrow/status/1055939250783428613) which was pitched to yara, so, sorry yara, I stole this from you as well. IMMA THIEF
> 
> title stolen from [Waste It On Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WP7duqy60h8) by Steve Aoki, feat BTS
> 
> and fair warning there isn't much mafia!Magnus in this but I'm hoping to figure out a part two, in which Magnus is Very Much mafia

Mid October’s cold is sharp; burying his nose in his scarf, hands balled in his coat pockets, Alec’s a block from his apartment. The street’s quiet, the only other people around this early are the owner of the bodega on the corner and his teenage son taking a delivery, helping offload everything from the truck. Alec skirts around them on the sidewalk, keeping out of their way but smiling quickly as he passes them.

He’s too tired for conversation. He left for his shift Friday night, and he’s finally getting back at six thirty in the morning on Sunday, half an hour away from dawn. The ER was understaffed- it’s always understaffed- and no one’s supposed to stay over 24 hours, but they needed him and he knew he could do it.

Put someone in pain front of him and he’ll help, no matter what.

Trying to figure out the math on his ruined sleeping pattern and figure out if he’ll make it to the family dinner his brother’s having tonight, he hears a small noise behind him.

Alec stops, looking over his shoulder. The bodega’s too far back and he can’t see the owner or the son, but he’s just in front of an alleyway.

Backing up a couple of steps, Alec stares into it, trying to decipher shapes without getting too much closer to it. The first six feet are lit up at odd angles by streetlights, the corner of a dumpster at the edge of the light, a few garbage cans pushed up against it, but he can’t see past than that.

It seems as still and silent as New York gets.

Alec hesitates, almost about to move again when he hears it, clearer- an inhale, short and harsh.

Phone out, torch on, he takes a few cautious steps in, listening carefully and trying to see the source of the noise.

“Is anyone there?”

His voice comes out louder, calmer, than he expects it to, but there’s no answer. He edges further forward, pushing aside the instinct to back out of the alley and walk to the safety of his apartment building because it’s his job. It might be a trap, he might be about to get mugged or murdered, but it seems unlikely this early in the morning.

Pushing himself to pick up the pace and cover more ground, he comes up to the dumpster, keeping as far from it as he can as he circles around it.

The torch’s light finds a person.

Propped up to sitting against the wall, the man stares dully u at Alec. He’s wearing what was a nice suit, ripped and torn, dirty with mud and blood, and he’s got a split lip and a faint bruise on his cheek, dishevelled hair falling into his eyes.

Alec strides to his side and drops to his knees, pressing two fingers firmly into his neck. His skin’s cold and his pulse is slow, but strong. “What’s your name?”

The man watches him, dark eyes more alive than Alec thought, and says nothing.

 “My name’s Alec, I live in this building. What happened?” Alec asks, leaning over to look at the man’s forearm, which has a knife slash down it, shallow and long. It looks like a defence wounds, it’ll need stitches, but his knuckles are bloodied from landing hits himself.  “Where does it hurt?”

The man still says nothing.

Alec exhales, trying not to roll his eyes, and goes to dial 911 on his phone. Before he can even start typing, the man snatches it out of his hand and tosses it aside, tipping his head back against the wall as it cracks and slides on the concrete.

“What the-”

“No hospitals.” His voice is more commanding than Alec would expect from someone this weak, but it takes a lot to make Alec so much as flinch.

“You need stitches. Something might be infected or broken. You’ll get hypothermia out here. You _need_ a hospital.”

“No.”

“Jesus Christ,” Alec says, staring heavenwards and praying for patience. Taking one of the man’s hands in both of his, he rubs it, an ineffective attempt at warming him up. “Whatever it is you got into, doctors don’t care, we just want to make sure you don’t die. Do you get that?”

“No hospitals.”

Alec half-considers picking up the phone and calling an ambulance anyway, but he seems like the kind of patient who’d try to walk away if Alec did something he didn’t like, so Alec reaches for his phone and pockets it, still holding the man’s hand. “Can you walk?”

“How far?” The words are more of a sigh, but that could be the cold setting in.

“My apartment.”

The man’s eyes crack open, looking at Alec if wondering why he’d offer that and if he’s serious, but he only nods. Alec gets to his feet, pocketing his phone, and when he offers his hand to help drag the man to standing he shakes his head, wincing.

“Ribs.”

They restrict his movement so much Alec is sure they’re cracked or broken, and in the end Alec has to take most of his weight just to get the man to his feet, and the man’s pale and sweating, hardly able to breathe. The man leans on him for balance as soon as he’s up, and arm around his shoulder, Alec gets him to his building’s front door slow but steady.

Alec punches the code in the pad, manoeuvring it so he holds the door open for both of them, and the blast of warmth inside makes the man’s teeth chatter.

They stagger over to the elevator and Alec presses the button a few times in quick succession, impatient, and Alec’s running through the supplies he’s got in his apartment. He’s got a medical kit in the bedroom, it pretty much should have everything- he might even have some codeine leftover- but there’s not much he’ll able to do for the ribs.

The elevator doors open, and Alec slaps the second floor button as they walk in and the close door button, trying to ease his key out of his pocket without moving the man.

“Magnus.”

Alec frowns, looking up. He’s so close Alec can see the dark brown of his eyes, warm and deep. Any further away he wouldn’t be able to see the line where the iris starts.

“My name is Magnus,” he says, again, low with pain, and Alec nods.

“Try to just keep breathing for me, ok?” Blood’s trickling out of the corner of Magnus’ mouth, and Alec wipes it away with his sleeve. That should just need cleaning up. “I’m Alec Lightwood. I’m going to be a doctor.”

“Is that why…?” Magnus gestures to Alec helping him as the elevator glides to a stop.

“I swore an oath,” Alec says, and he’s never once regretted his job but he might regrets this, and Magnus seems to hear it- ducking his head, the corner of his mouth curls upwards in a small smile despite everything.

Alec pretends not to notice.

Getting Magnus to the apartment, and inside it, and to the couch, takes longer than Alec thinks it will, but once Magnus is sat down he works fast- stripping off his coat and scarf as he backtracks to the door and lock it, he throws them in the direction of the hooks on the wall and the keys on the table by the door, grabbing the medical kit.

He dumps it on the couch and sets up the space heater to blast directly at Magnus, aware his teeth are chattering and the shivering won’t help steady his breathing. Magnus’ eyes flutter shut at the heat of it, and Alec retreats to the kitchen, washing his hands thoroughly.

“Do you have any allergies?”

“No.”

“Are you currently on any medication?”

“No.”

“Ok.” Hands dry, Alec kneels on the couch next to Magnus and roots through his medical kit, snapping on plastic gloves. He pulls out the stethoscope first, unbuttoning Magnus’ blazer and pushing it aside, glancing up to check he isn’t causing Magnus any more pain when he touches the pad to his chest to listen to his breathing. It’d be better to do it from his back, but he doesn’t want to have to ask Magnus to move again. “This might hurt, but I need you to take some deep, slow breaths for me.”

Magnus does, as best he can through the pain, and Alec listens closely, but his airways sound clear.

No punctured lungs, at least. That’s something.

“Really, I should order an x-ray,” Alec says, putting the stethoscope aside and getting as close to in front of Magnus without actually touching him, running his hands gently along his ribs through his shirt, feeling for any displaced fractures. “But I don’t have one of those machines stashed in a closet, so. Can you lean forwards slightly?”

Once Alec can access all the way around Magnus’ ribs, ignoring Magnus’ eyes on him as he leans in close to him and focussing on what he’s feeling, on Magnus’ reactions, he makes sure he checks every rib. Magnus doesn’t offer many comments, only grimacing when Alec touches painful areas.

“You’ve got five either broken or cracked ribs,” Alec says, and he would put his money on broken because of Magnus’ difficulty breathing, although none are displaced, thankfully, “but there might be internal damage I won’t be able to find without a CT scan.”

Magnus shakes his head, breathing shallow. “Fine.”

“I can’t do a lot for ribs. You’re gonna have to be gentle on them for six weeks, I might get you some ice for the swelling- are you warming up yet?”

“Some,” Magnus murmurs, and Alec doesn’t miss the way Magnus’ eyes linger on Alec’s lips, “but I’m sure I read somewhere sharing body heat is the best way to warm up.”

Alec pauses. “Are you hitting on me?”

“It hasn’t escaped my notice how gorgeous you are,” Magnus says, light and sure, but those dark eyes meet Alec’s again and they’re entirely serious.

Swallowing, Alec looks away. “Yeah, well, you’re a hot mess,” he says, ignoring Magnus’ delighted grin at the comment and getting to work on Magnus’ arm.

It looks like a clean cut, at least, but peeling back the shirt carefully until it’s completely removed, easing it off blood-tacky skin, takes a long time and a lot of patience. He has to entirely ignore the pain Magnus is in just to get it done.

Once he’s sure it’s free, he rolls it up out of the way, and grabs an alcohol-free wipe. “It’s over,” he says, low, and Magnus nods, face still scrunched up in pain.

He gets through a few of the wipes mopping up all the blood, but once he’s done the wound’s only bleeding sluggishly and it’s easy to stitch up. Threading his curved needle, he tells Magnus not to look.

Magnus only looks as far as Alec, who can feel him studying his expression.

“Yes?”

“You stick your tongue out when you concentrate. It’s cute.”

“It’ll be less cute when I’m jabbing your arm with this, I assure you,” Alec says, putting a pillow on his lap to rest Magnus’ arm on, trying to keep everything as steady as possible. “Ok. Are you ready? You need to keep still.”

“I know. Just do it.”

Given permission, Alec does, but once he’s in the rhythm of it he starts talking, to distract Magnus. “Am I ever going to hear the story behind this?”

“I think it’s fairly clear what happened,” Magnus says, evasive, and Alec shakes his head slightly.

“So, no.”

Huffing a laugh and immediately regretting it, hand holding his ribs, Magnus winces. “It doesn’t even matter.”

Alec narrows his eyes at Magnus, pulling the thread taut. “It matters.”

“It really doesn’t-”

“I work in the ER at the moment, I’m doing six months there,” Alec says conversationally, carrying on with what he’s doing. “I’ve seen a lot of people hurting, and pain is indiscriminate; it’s senseless and exhausting. There are only two things I can really hold onto in there. The first is that I can help. Sometimes, I can make it better. If I work hard enough, if I’m smart and focussed and lucky, I can make it right, and I send people home.

“The second is that I have to keep going. It matters if people are hurt because people matter. It’s not easy, the people aren’t always nice-” he laughs, bitter, but he’s still calm, his hands still steady, so he keeps working “-hell, I treated a bullet wound in my first month, and the guy got shot by the police because he attacked them after he beat up his kid for coming out. He wasn’t a good person, but I don’t get to play god. It was my job to save his life, so I did. People _matter_.”

Finishing the last stitch and tying them off, Alec glances up.

Magnus stares back, lips parted as if he wants to say something but doesn’t know what he wants to say. Eventually, he swallows, and settles on; “you don’t know me.”

“I don’t know most of the people I take care of.” Alec dresses the arm with a few layers of gauze, just to protect the fresh wound. “It matters how you got hurt because it might happen again.”

“It won’t.” There’s something hard in Magnus’ voice that sounds harsh, but he repeats himself, gentler, more a promise. “It won’t, I- it was my fault, I should’ve known better.”

Alec decides it’s very much clear Magnus wasn’t mugged, or accidentally fell into violence. Magnus is dangerous, and he knows that should be enough to make him back off, but it’s not. Under it all- the blood and smudged makeup and mystery- Magnus is the kind of person Alec _wants_ to know.

He starts to tell him how to look after the stitches, but Magnus waves him off.

“I have a friend, she’s a nurse. I’ll hear the lecture several times more from her.”

Alec only nods, the gauze taped in place, and tugs the hem of Magnus’ shirt without thinking. “Ok, shirt off.”

Eyes bright suddenly, mischievous, Magnus smirks, making no move to, and Alec glares at him.

“What? Are we going to pretend your mangled body will be a huge turn-on for me?”

Magnus rolls his eyes, unbuttoning the shirt with one hand. “Your bedside manner could stand some improvement.” Moving to ease his blazer off his shoulder, Magnus flinches again, hand dropping back down, and Alec takes over.

He’s as gentle as he can be, Magnus’ hands helpless at his side, and once it’s all off he examines the damage. The bruising isn’t as bad as he expects, and Alec pulls on a fresh pair of gloves as he inspects it. It all seems to be superficial, and there’s no broken skin to worry about, so he finds the codeine and talks Magnus through it, only offering it to him when he assures Alec he’s taken it before.

“This isn’t my first broken bone,” Magnus says as Alec hands him a glass of water, popping out two pills out of the packet for him.

Draping the blanket on the back of the couch around Magnus’ shoulders, Alec settles back on the couch next to him, thighs comfortably resting against each other. The sun’s rising, light pouring through Alec’s open curtains. It’s been over 36 hours since he saw real daylight and Magnus’ skin is golden in it, unreal in how beautiful he is- Alec pretends it doesn’t take his breath away, turning his attention to Magnus’ bashed knuckles.

Even though Magnus appears to have come off worse in this fight, whoever he punched must have felt it- judging by the blood spatter’s pattern, back up his hand, not all of this blood is his own.

“Somehow,” Alec murmurs as he wraps Magnus’ right hand with gauze, “you haven’t chipped a nail.”

Magnus smiles- genuine, crinkled eyes warm- and Alec ignores his own thudding heart, taping the gauze in place and pulling another wipe out of the pack for Magnus’ split lip.

He tilts Magnus’ jaw upwards to get a better angle, shuffling closer. “Tell me if I hurt you,” Alec says, because this is pain he can avoid inflicting, and Magnus murmurs that he will as Alec begins, starting where he’s sure there’s no injury.

The cut’s already healed over, so when Alec’s cleaned away the blood he falters, not quite able to look away. The bruise on Magnus’ cheekbone is still barely a shadow, like someone hardly landed their punch, and Alec reaches up to touch it as if transfixed.

Forcing himself to look away and down, putting the aside and fumbling to take his gloves off, he clears his throat. “The bruising should fade within a couple of weeks, and-”

Magnus curls his fingers around Alec’s wrist before he can pull back, gaze unwavering as his hand slides up his forearm to his bicep, using the grip to pull Alec in. They’re so close Alec has to lean against the back of the couch for balance, trying not to jolt Magnus’ ribs, but Magnus doesn’t seem to care, staring at Alec’s lips again.

“Kiss me,” Magnus says. His eyes are dark and unwavering, lips barely moving to form the words, and Alec feels like he can’t move.

Exhaling shakily, Alec nods, unable to look away as he adjusts. He shifts so he’s straddling Magnus, weight on his thighs so it’s easier not to hurt him, and he runs his fingers through Magnus’ hair to push it out of his eyes.

Magnus smiles, that soft smile from before, and Alec can’t resist, can’t understand what power this man wields to make him feel this way, can’t _wait_ \- and presses his lips to Magnus’.

It starts gentle, almost loving, Alec reaching up to cup Magnus’ cheek, Magnus playing with the edge of his t-shirt, warm hands touching bare skin. Slowly, Alec deepens it. Magnus tastes faintly of blood, and Alec doesn’t even know what he’s doing, doesn’t know how he ended up here, doesn’t even know why he wants this-

But he can’t stop.

Magnus respond to the pace Alec sets, but his hands slide up inside Alec’s shirt, blunt nails dragging back down Alec’s spine, and Alec shivers, breaking the kiss to let Magnus breathe. Their foreheads rest against each other and Alec’s thumb touches the corner of Magnus’ mouth, heart thumping in his chest.

“I’m going to hurt you,” Alec says, trying to be responsible, but Magnus only smiles.

He kisses Alec again, once, twice, lingering just enough to shut Alec up, reaching up to pull him back in. “I don’t care.”

Alec doesn’t even know how long they kiss for. Magnus pushes his shirt up until Alec takes it off entirely, dropping it on the floor, already kissing again- and breathless and helpless, fingers threading through Magnus’ hair to hold him close, Magnus catches Alec’s bottom lip between his teeth and bites lightly.

Alec groans, kissing harder, rocking his hips into Magnus’, fingers tightening in his hair, and Magnus reaches down between them, unfastening Alec’s belt. He makes a helpless noise against Magnus’ mouth, pulling him closer- and Magnus suddenly breaks the kiss and hisses, holding his ribs, face twisted in pain.

“Shit,” Alec says, leaning back as much as he can to give Magnus space, but Magnus grabs his arm, not letting him go too far. “Are you-?”

“Fine,” Magnus exhales, trying to catch his breath.

Unable to do anything to help, Alec waits until Magnus gets it under control, watching his expression as the pain slowly eases up.

“I don’t think the drugs have kicked in yet,” Magnus says, grin self-deprecating, running his hand up Alec’s thigh to reassure him and trying to pull Alec back in, but Alec doesn’t let him.

“I’m going to hurt you again.”

Magnus rolls his eyes, not giving up on trying to ease Alec back into kissing. “I don’t _care_.”

“Yeah, well, I do.”

“What if I told you I like a little pain?” Magnus asks, voice dropping seductively, reaching to unbutton Alec’s pants. “Besides, I owe you.”

Alec freezes, not immediately sure why that makes him so deeply uncomfortable, but he pushes Magnus’ hands off, clambering off Magnus’ lap, rubbing his face and trying to arrange his thoughts. “You don’t- _owe_ me anything. That’s not- I didn’t do this so you’d get me off, I’m a doctor, it’s my _job_ , I don’t want you to fuck me to- _thank_ me for not leaving you out there, that’s not-”

This is so messed up.

Magnus tries to speak, but Alec rubs his face again, harder.

“No, don’t- _don’t_ , alright?”

He’d never do that at the hospital. Cute guys have hit on him before and he’s never thought about doing anything about it, it never even occurs to him to take their number or flirt back or _climb into their lap and kiss them when they have broken ribs_.

He feels sick.

“Ok.” Alec takes a deep breath trying to steady himself. “You need- you need rest. You can sleep in my bed- _alone_ , I’ll sleep out here- and then we’ll call someone to pick you up. Ok?”

Jaw clenched, clearly irritated, Magnus relaxes back into the couch. “I’d honestly rather not move, so I’ll just sleep here, thanks.”

“I really wouldn’t advise-”

“Have you got a pillow?”

There’s a moment where they stare each other down, but Alec picks his battle and pulls his shirt back on, getting his spare duvet and pillows.

“I’m going to set an alarm, I’ve just got back from a shift,” Alec says, making sure the duvet covers his feet, tucked under Magnus’ chin like he’s a kid. “I’ll come through in a couple of hours.”

Magnus nods, and Alec sighs, heading towards his bedroom.

Whatever that was, it’s over now.

“Because I haven’t said it yet,” Magnus says, and Alec stops, the door half-closed. “Thank you.”

Alec closes his eyes and shuts the door, tipping his head forward to lean against the door.

Fuck.

***

Alec wakes up to a phone call from Izzy, her cheerful voice asking if he’s still coming to dinner at Jace’s because she’s bringing her new boyfriend and their mom’s made cheesecake, and groggily, Alec says he will. Forcing himself out of bed while she talks, he pulls open his bedroom door, yawning, and- stops.

The duvet’s folded up on the couch, pillows placed carefully on top of it. The mess he left on the coffee table’s disappeared, the glass Magnus used washed up and drying on the rack, and none of Magnus’ clothes are around. The key’s exactly where he left it on the coffee table, but when he tries the front door it’s locked.

It’s almost like Magnus scrubbed all evidence he was here, except for the card left on his side table, the handwriting elegant and looping.

 

_If you need me._

_-MB_

 

And there’s a phone number printed on it.

**Author's Note:**

> as usual I'm posting it because I can't rewrite it again, not because I like it. assurance I did the right thing is appreciated :)


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